The Power of Talking Face to Face

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Last summer, I read the book “Your Brain at Work” by David Rock and took copious notes.  One note was “It is easier to work with people face-to-face; less uncertainty, clearer map."  (page 122)

In this day and age, we are so fortunate to be able to communicate in a myriad of ways: email, phone, texting, facetime, skype, shared chats, online forums, cloud-based tools, live networked meetings, and tons of others that I probably don’t even know about.  However, there is still something to be said for the face-to-face meeting.

As David Rock explained in his book, our brains want to be “certain” of things.  The more information we have, the more comfortable we become.  Imagine the thought of calling someone about a job possibility whom you have never met before on the phone.  The thought is daunting; what will they say to me?  Will they even listen?  What if they are mean, rude, obnoxious, or just plain disinterested?  Now consider calling someone whom you have met before face-to-face about a job possibility.  It is so much less stressful to think of how you will introduce yourself, probably by recalling whatever the situation was when you met them face-to-face, etc.  This is the certainty of which I speak.

A specific example of how using face time has benefited me personally.  As a consultant, I have always tried to meet with a prospective client in person for the first time.   When I was getting started, however, if the client requested a proposal, I would submit it over email then wait for a response.  For the most part this worked fine, but a few years ago it backfired. I had what I thought of as a great first meeting with a prospective client.  We talked for over two hours.  He gave me a tour of his facility we discussed opportunities for working together.  He asked for a proposal and I promised to deliver it via email on a certain date.

A few days after sending the proposal, this person had not responded.  I tried emailing again, calling, and even asking a mutual colleague to ask personally on my behalf.  He never answered either my email or calls, and was noncommittal to my colleague.  The stress and uncertainty was so frustrating that I brought up the issue with my professional group who made the recommendation that I start delivering proposals in person.  AHA moment for me.

In that particular case, I really had no recourse but to give up (I’m not the type to beat down doors!), but since then I have tried very hard to always deliver proposals in person.  Even when a client offers to have a phone meeting to discuss a proposal or important aspect of a project, I make every effort to meet in person when possible.  It is so much easier and more productive to ensure clear communication, that I have found it to be worth it.  And this is not limited to client/consultant relationships either.  When possible, face-to-face communication about important topics is best.

I’m not going to say that we should abandon all modern technology.  All I’m saying is that when possible, talk face-to-face, especially when the outcome is important.  You might be surprised by how well things turn out.

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